WHY ARE WE DIVING INTO THE WATER?

This is it; that interminable “Dry January” is finally finished.  We’re glad it’s over, this post-holiday detox ritual.  We’re assuming that maybe your month of January 2020 wasn’t as dry as all that.  Not that we suspect you of having sipped a clandestine gin-tonic (at Le Futiloscope, of course, we were exemplary).  But what we wanted to tell you was that never in our whole lives have we guzzled as much…water!  Just how many of these neo-gourds chic and brightly colored, that are supposed to accompany you everywhere, on walks, to the gym, even to work (Le Futilo consecrated a post to this recently), did Santa Claus leave under the tree? Who doesn’t yet have her own carafe in glass complete with carbon filter, the lo-tech filtering system that has outdone its ancestor Brita?

In the United States, where nothing is ever done halfway, everyone’s mouth is watering.  “Stay Hydrated”, is the most recent motto to be found on T-shirts.  Our friends the millennials were there first evidently. For the last several months on campus’ in the US, you can’t count the number of “water drinking clubs”, clubs for enthusiastic water drinkers, whose members organize tastings to promote “the healthiest drink in the world” (Good Luck).  The message posted by Twitter to its 145 million subscribers on January 1st at 9 am?  “New decade, drink water”.  According to the New York Times to drink more water was the most shared New Year’s resolution that day on Social Media.   Ambitious program no?  On Instagram, there are 753,000 occurrences of the hashtag #drinkwater.  And 301,000 for #drinkmorewater!  In this country, where it’s hard enough to eradicate soda fountains in the fast-foods, since 2017, bottled water has become the most widely bought drink, for the first time pulling ahead of soft drinks. Better late than never…

America has finally discovered the formula that cures all ills:  H20!  You’re having a hard time concentrating?  Digestive problems? You are constantly tired? You are clearly not hy-dra-ted! Headaches? Acne? Depressed? It’s clear, you don’t drink enough water.  Right now, its repeated over and over again by nutritionists, dermatologists, blogs and wellness sites.  And on Instagram there’s also Hydro-Club, where at least the message is passed through amusing memes and videos!

Drink more water!  In a developed country that should be easy to do.  Wrong!  Because to adopt an ideal hydration routine, taking into account one’s size, way of life, practice of sports, you now have to …download a specialized app.  There’s lots of choice!  These apps allow you to follow hour by hour your “hydration index” just like you were a world class athlete.  They even send you alarms (Go ahead, it’s time for your magic potion), encouragements (Congratulations, you drank 8 glasses today), and propose challenges…certain ones are stark, others more playful.  Like Plant Nanny, for example, where a metaphorical little plant shrivels if you forget to water it.  With Pee & See you track the hour and the estimated volume of your pee, it’s even more precise. You can also invest in a gourd XXL graduated like a measuring cup, printed with little encouraging messages throughout the day (Good Start!  Keep on sipping!).  It’s called a motivational bottle, and there are tons on Amazon.

You find that tedious?  Maybe you would prefer this new fad which comes from the West Coast.  For the last 2 years, the start-up Live Water is a smash hit, notably in Silicon Valley offices, where they deliver fresh live water in large glass jugs.  Coming directly from a source in Oregon, it’s guaranteed no chlorine, no fluoride and without any treatment at all (you have to drink it rather rapidly though or it turns green).  Filled, it seems, with natural pro-biotics, it should be better for one’s health than the “dead water” that comes out of the tap.  Put off by the price, or outside the delivery area?  The new site findaspring.com, very popular with “raw water” enthusiasts, geo-localizes the closest sources of drinkable water throughout the US.  To be supplied locally, more or less legally, is the new up and coming outdoor activity.  Who knows, maybe “sourcer” is the new profession of the future? .